I just met an Internet perv on MSN yesterday.
A certain kohnson claiming to be from Greenview Sec and Pasir Ris Primary. Pssch. I know you're from 4/1 '08 asshole.

Don't you think that people do things just to show how "good" they can be, are such hypocrites?
To put things really politely, I am no longer on talking terms with a certain few. And one had actually sent me a friend request online with the message to forget it IF that person did anything wrong, or IF that person had ostracized me.

Apparently that person thinks she/he did nothing wrong in the first place and she/he has always been correct and as though I'm kicking up a big fuss.

And while it sounded so pretty (that online request), reality provides a completely different outlook. In front of others, you act like you don't really care and you're totally fine denying my existence. Can you claim to be anymore sincere about your so-called peace offering, two-face?
I loathe such hypocrites who pretend to do something just to appear oh-so-good-natured. Yeah. For all you know, the request was made in the presence of another just to show that "hey, I gave in FIRST".

A shitload of good your strict upbringing did to you.

Phobia of 4bia?

The Pre-Lims are ALMOST ALMOST ALMOST over. I just finished my MCQs yester. Despite the numerous similar options which were meant to create some serious indecision issues push us students to make decisions quickly and CORRECTLY, I comfort myself with the fact that there is 25% chance of getting the answer right. Yep. 25% is alot (Am desperately focusing on the bright side here)

Anyway, I finally went on a mini-outing of sorts after a endless cycle of tuition, angst & failed attempts at self-study. After school, it was straight to J8 for lunch. I joined HuiYing, YinYao & LiangYi for lunch @ Long John Silver, in which the topic of horror movies came up. Despite all the talking, I still couldn't get anyone to watch 4bia with me. T_T...Haiz.

My basic starter would go like this:
Me: Hey, you wanna watch a movie soon?
Target: Ok, what movie?
Me: (insert beaming expression) 4bia.
Target: (blanches/stunned pause/bug-eyed look) NO WAY. I don't watch horror movies/I get scared/NOOOOOOOOOO!

So far, practically all the girls I've asked bear a certain fear of horror movies. Heck, even my MOTHER resents horror movies.

Today I asked someone whom I thought liked horror movies. And suddenly, she went on about how fake the trailer seemed and became the "Horror Movie Connoisseur", critisizing horror movies and how fake and unrealistic they are. Like duh the trailer would suck. It's a Thai movie being advertised in Singapore in the most slipshod manner. If it was a local horror movie, the trailer could probably be much better.

As for the whole realism (or lack thereof), nothing beats the real thing. But you can't experience if you don't have the slightest shred of belief in the supernatural. For instance, devout Christians who are strictly biased would just waste their time watching horror movies. After all, those who don't believe don't see the whole point. Maybe those kinds just watch to point out all the flaws and justify their religion. Or simply dissing horror movies is the equivalent of dissing fashion trends.

Personally, I don't really believe in the supernatural that much. I semi-believe because I have seen and heard evidence of their presence. Even before I Saw & Heard, I found horror movies interesting because of the element of suspence & the innate human fear of the unknown. And no, I'm not wasting time scaring myself. There is a reason why Asian horror movies tend to be better than Western horror movies (though there have been exceptions). There is a moral lesson of sorts to be learnt and usually, the humane society values are challenged and questioned.
Like in The Ring (The Japanese ORIGINAL), we learn of society's cruel rejection of what the different, or rather, what is defined by as "weird". To be polite to the narrow-minded conservative, there is a fine, fine line between "weird" & "unique". To be frank, it is the same thing, just different viewpoints (one from the bottom of Loserville & the other from the wide skylight)


By the way, this is 4bia's INTERNATIONAL trailer. Not the crappy one shown on Singapore's TV screens. One shouldn't judge a movie by its trailer.

I'm pretty much stressed by the state of my science practical (which didn't go as planned. Hopefully, I'll be able to watch 4bia tomorrow.

Disastrous Start, Disastrous End

The Pre-Lims begun with a disastrous start. Even Mr Ong was using the word "Disastrous" again and again today.

"If you (hit on the invigilator/have a gargantuan pencil case on the table/cheer aloud after each question/take off your shoes & socks) and the Chief Invigilator is very strict, it'll be DISASTROUS for you", he says.
Guess which one did he actually say.

The E Maths Paper 1 was one of those exams where you have an inkling that you did the questions before and briefly recall some garbled method to solve it. But those bits of memory doesn't makes sense in the paper and you come up with more garbled equations to fill in the blanks.

All that garbling made me all the more sleepy (despite smuggling Pokka green tea into the Hall). And I wasted time redoing questions because my sleepy vision played tricks on me. (DAMMNIT I SAW 20 as 26 & REDID SIMPLE SIMULTANEOUS EQNS THREE TIMES!!!)

Already feeling terrible for my blunders, my dearest classmates (a small group specifically) just had to start whining about "definately getting (insert unrealistically high numbers) marks loss" and "I sure die wan". Once again, these people are the ones that get As & Bs. Irritating. Apparently they haven't the consideration to spare a thought for someone who borders on failing everytime.

During the break, I went around passing Mdm Yau's card to my class's people scattered all over the canteen.

About 15 minutes before the EL Paper I begun, said group of classmates from before had to start blabbling about the EL format which quickly warped to Geography & Biology. Their chatter sounded so much for a bunch of chickens on crack. Thus, the beginnings of a headache was born.

For the first 10 minutes, I was uttetly stupefied. That irritating chicken chatter kept resounding in my head. It was AMPLIFIED, may I add.
The first signs of madness perhaps?
And for the rest of the bloody EL exam, I couldn't so much as string two sentences together. My essay is doomed for sure, going out of point and all. And my letter is screwed. I kept reiterating the same points and suddenly took a noble tone at the end.
"Adults may not take us students seriously, but we shall use this opportunity to prove ourselves....and show everyone the meaning of the human spirit"

Ugh. Now I feel like throwing from the cheese of it.

To round it all up, I went to the library today with company to study. And came to the realization that I may have invited a fox (no offense to real foxes though. I like 'em) into my life. Sickening...

Please. Is it so difficult to fucking SHUT UP after the exam? Yeah, yeah. I know they wanna discuss and compare and boost their flagging confidence by having people sympathize with poor poor them.
If they has truly not done well, I'll sympathize with them. Even join them.
But when the whiners are the ones who always get As, how do you think this makes those who have a much higher likelihood of failing?

My CCA Points, Monsiuer ?

Arrgh The issue of the CCA points are driving me nuts.

Everyone got their CCA point slips a few days ago and apparently, it was a rather non-thorough job since nearly everyone had a couple of mistakes in their individual achievements.

Logically, being one of the few Drama members to actually have a decent score (REGULAR ATTENDANCE & HARD WORK! NOT LUCK), I shouldn't have anything to complain about. That is, if the whole issuing of points weren't a sheer act of injustice here.

Upon hearing about my scores, a couple of , to put it politely "shrewd" Drama members borrowed mine on the pretext of double-checking their events. And at least one of them shamelessly copied off MY achievements despite being a regular no-show at meetings.

To make things worse, a non-teaching staff was assigned the job of ensuring the final point tally was accurate. And all we had to do to was to write the amendments in pencil and it'll be corrected as written. Meaning people can make up crap about their so-called achievements and the supposed hard work they put in, and thus get the same scores as those who actually worked. Why? Because they don't bother to dig up any dirt for verification!

All that talk about CCA being important for your future was nothing but a farce. A bloody hypocritical farce. Why bother working so hard when slackers can do even better than you can? They slack, they have more time to study/relax, they eventually fare better than you and they WILL GET WHAT YOU GET FOR DOING MUCH MUCH LESSER.

The %%#^**! school keeps saying, "Oh, we trust the students to follow the moral principles. Their consciences would prick them otherwise. And then they'll suffer and only have themselves to blame."
And when their expectations fall short, the Vice-Principal and/or Principal simply gives YET ANOTHER REDUNDANT speech on how "disappointed the teachers are", how "you'll not have a moment of peace cause your CONSCIENCE would bother you" and that they hope it wouldn't happen again.

BULLSHIT I say.

If they have consciences, they wouldn't be taking credit for what they didn't work for.
If they had the vaguest sense of responsibility, they would have turned up regularly for club meetings.
If they even cared, they wouldn't have cheated someone who comprimised study and leisure time for CCA by making actual achievements amount to nothing with their falsehoods.

Needless to say, I was furious. So much so that I made another (who had a CCA slip error but chose to overlook it since it was in his favour) have his CCA slip relooked at again. I practically marched to the teacher and demanded my grievence be redressed. Something had better be done. Not just my scores, not just others' scores. But the whole bloody unfair system the school has.

God knows how many frauds got away with obtaining the two bonus points for CCA & CIP achievements by bluffing...

















On hindsight though, the other whom I pointed out to the teacher did have redeeming points. He helped out regularly and was the single male senior who turned up without fail everytime. He tried his best at club activities too. All these considerably more than what the others did. But I just can't stomach the thought of another getting higher scores even though the work done was about the same. I feel betrayed somehow...
And the teacher did look rather weary. I don't mean to tax her further, but I need to see justice done.

I'm pretty drained by my outburst this afternoon. I was being pugnacious about the whole issue, a fact which I just began to be aware of. If I offended anyone who didn't deserve attitude, know that I didn't mean it to you. Stress and repeated fails with a generous serving of irritants is a surefire combination for PMS-style flare-ups.


And then the EL Oral exams on tomorrow. With Pre-lims just 8 days away...
And a stroke will probably be on its way when a blood vessel finally bursts.





P.S. If you find that RIGHTEOUS ANGER and/or TEENAGE ANGST isn't conveyed here, that's coz I believe not in using CAPS and repeated vulgarities in every ^%$#@&! sentence. This blog is open to heresy PG, Dammit!

Dream

After the (supposedly) roaring success of the Haunted House last year, I had high hopes for the Open House showcase. After all, it would be our chance to finally up the Drama Standard a notch. I had dreams and hopes of what's to come. Ideas sprang left and right, with the completely absurd Host Club (Ala Ouran High) to the rather unrealistic Cosplay Crossover Extravaganza to a scavenger hunt type of game spanning different universes. The worst case scenario then was the repeat of the Haunted House Theme again...But regardless, it would be our theme. The Sec 4s decided on the Haunted House which was already done three years back. We followed their directions, their ideals. Now, it is our turn to lead....

To what end, may I ask?

Day 4 of Open House 07 Preparations

Where do I start?

Ah. This morning while rushing to school (being over an hour late for Drama and all...), I met Jasper the Dance Club's resident instructor at the traffic junction. (Refer to previous entry on Indian Dance for more info) The first thing jolly ole Jasper said was a surprised WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU? while glancing surreptitiously (It could have been a direct stare, but our height difference made it difficult for me to see his face without craning my neck) at my crowning glory, now flecked with grey and looking lank and lifeless. I'm used to people making remarks about the premature white strands (Thanks to Mother Dearest and her genes)within the mass of black locks. But to have an acquaintance greet you with a reminder of the spread of the white ones is somewhat upsetting to a highly-strung, sleep-deprived teen. The last time we saw each other was at an early Indian Dance session months ago and he could tell the difference in my hair colour with a single glance. That says a lot, doesn't it?

Despite being extremely late, I found myself forcefully slowing my footsteps down to keep pace with Jasper. He complained about the sheer lack of initialtive in the juniors, I agreed and added on to the growing list of Juniors' Flaws. Along the way, I learnt the Dance Club used to give really crappy Open House performances since the Dancers do want to do well, but apparently the flesh is weak. Jasper is now pumping them and gearing up for the Open House ahead. After I ranted and raved about how...how unprofessional (yeah, that's the word) and rushed everything was, Jasper had dished out the same encouragement most teachers would give. I believe the exact words went along the lines of:
It is good that you have the right attitude for presentation. It does't matter that the others don't feel the same. Don't care about them. Just continue as you are now. It'll work out.
The heavenly bells rang, the angels sang and...Alas! Enlightenment!
No. Not really. They made a lot of sense compared to what I've been offered so far. The Pessimist: Bah Humbug.
The Optimist (Having long been ignored/dethroned/M.I.A: *StarSTruck*...I do believe!

Yeah. That was basically feel-good advice wrapped up nicely as Go!Go! Encouragement. But it worked. I went to school
I spent the last three days as a ticking time bomb. Tempers fluctuated (Particularly mine), jobs were rushed and standards dropped.

Casual Observations of the Truths 01: Humility Is Dead

There are some things a self-analysis of one's psyche can do. And there are those they cannot achieve.

I've been immersing myself in what the "grown-ups" like to call "self-reflection" for the past few days. Outsiders call it "stoning". Any form of "self-reflection" not induced by the "grown-ups" themselves is also called "day-dreaming". And yes, self-reflection/stoning/day-dreaming does help in relieving confusion-induced headaches by fogging the mind up with a healthy dose of the Truth. Side-effects include varying periods of Despair, an absurd gut instinct that one is alone by the sidelines watching the world spin further and further away from reach and of course, the abrupt loss of energy/chronic fatigue.

Though casual observation (or as casual as I tried to be without nit-picking), I inferred several possible Truths or half-Truths.

1) Humility Is Dead.
Nowadays it irks me whenever someone tries to play down his/her strengths by quoting someone else/jokingly denying it. I shall use the term "You" to refer to any said person who possesses said characteristics. We all know that You take pride in what you do. There is no need to pretend to eat humble pie (e.g."No lah! I'm not that good. *Giggles*(Insert name of random person) is better."). If You are proud of whatever it is, then bloody well show it. You are no Innocent, no Goody-two shoes whose entire character is based on Preached-But-Seldom-Practiced Morals. You are a half "grown-up", with Innocence lost for good. I hate facades. Although brutal honesty is difficult to differentiate from faked Innocence, I rather You just tell all instead of hiding behind that digustingly clean image. Yeah, I know that when You pretend to be all modest and shy about the compliments, most people think "He/She's not proud/arrogant, therefore he/she is a nice person." And this most certainly guarantee a seat in the Teachers'Pet party. By then, of course the Teachers wouldn't mind if You hand in sloppy work/skip class events/pay no attention in class/sleep. Just flash a megawatt smile (NOTE: Smile SWEETLY/GOOFILY, not smirk, grin...) and You'll get away with anything. See? The numerous benefits of being a sunshine kid who's HUMBLE about what he/she does.

I'll accept all compliments if I deserve them. Even though I don't, I'll not reject half-heartedly. Perhaps to everyone else, I'm arrogant and aloof. But at least I have my DIGNITY not to pretend. All these Yous out there choke on your plastic humble pie. Your humble act prevents any harsh criticism from targeting You, since You will not openly accept genuine praise, and neither will You be able to take genuine criticism. But it is understandable why most behave this way. True dignity will not feed you, nor will it gain you favour with the higher-ups.

That is all there is to it.

The Irksome, The Tiring & The People Who Should Just Disappear

Finally...After two solid months of not blogging due to school commitments such as the crappy OM activities, useless projects & insignificant people causing significant trouble...I, Eneeli the Anime Freak is back! But before I get the Anime rantings to flow, I must first rid myself of the angry/angsty voices that keep repeating themselves in my head.And yes. I am most definately insane.
This year had been particulary unpleasant. I shall proceed to list them. If I bore you, please refer to my "Making Fun of Naruto"entry for a laugh.

On Global Scales
1] Bird flu threatens to cut off the world's supply of poultry, particulary chicken and duck. And that had gotten me thinking. First Pig Fever, then Mad Cow Disease, followed by SARS [Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome],and now, Bird Flu. Common point: They all originated from animals. What is with all this diseases?! If this is some feeble attempt by Whoever-In-Charge--Up-Above to wipe out the human race, then its crap. Cause it is not creative, very troublesome and is cutting off some of our food supply. What next? Vegetable Rash? F**king Fish Disease?

2] Terrorist activities have increased, leading to more lives being lost, destruction of property and the rise of even more bad news. My point? Terrorists = Uncreative Idiots. They have their own way of thinking and they want people to sit up and notice. That feeling of being looked down upon/ignored is understandable. But blowing things up just to get attention? That's just incredibly childish! If they wanted attention, they could have staged a protest. But then again, the main target of these terrorists are also to blame. If they had paid attention and stopped being so racist, all these bloodshed wouldn't have occured. Now you see? Racists are the source of the problem.

On Personal Scale
1] A particular school competition,OM had, in a mere two months, taken away at least a decade off my life. I had been staying back after school until evening THREE times a week...Okay...The whole team slacked for a good amount of time....But still...It's dead troublesome to stay back so often. My grades dropped drastically since then. It'll be over soon...But if we fail to clinch any of the top three spots...The coach would probably have our heads for this.

2] The Effects of Gravity on Grades has increased drastically since the start of problem 1 [OM]. I had dropped from Position 8 to Position 18!!! And that was just in my class alone. I don't even want to think about my level positioning...It's throughly depressing to know that my future would be changed in the same year in which my projects increase. And if I can't do well and ruin my future, it'll be all my fault once again. That's unfairest-of-unfair unfair!

3]Annoying people who wallows in self-pity and causes trouble for people who don't sympanize with them...These people just gets on my nerves...By existing, they waste limited natural resource, causes more than enough angst for others & insults the very name of "Homo Sapiens". But due to [a genetic mutation in my blood [A.k.a The slight sadistic streak which rears its head every now and then] thicker skin than usual, these are considered the leaszt of my personal problems...I only have this to say to them though: "Get a life! If you want to remain in that disgusting pit of self-pity, fine! Stay there and quit dragging others down with you!" And TAKE THAT:

*Coughs*...Thank You.
Well, I'm done with my rant. The next [next] entry shall be Anime-related as there're too many Anime thoughts floating around in my head for me to properly concentrate on studies and other things.. I shall now leave you with this interesting point. Sayonara...


Japan's water has a very high dissolved oxygen concentration - but not enough to prevent drowning in the bath.
People might eat oats when they're hungry, but people from Hungary don't eat oats. .