Tuesday, May 16, 2006

PMS

PMS. We have PMS. Which is technically, a good thing.
We can flare up and still blame it on PMS.
We can release the inner monster during PMS.
We cannot be blamed for PMS cause we CAN reproduce.
See?

Disclaimer: If you get offended by the following, go away and
don't surf the Internet until you become more open
minded.



PMS STANDS FOR

Pass My Shotgun
Psychotic Mood Shift
Perpetual Munching Spree
Puffy Mid-Section
People Make Me Sick
Put Me to Sleep
Provide Me with Sweets
Pardon My Sobbing
Pass My Sweatpants
Permissible Man Slaughter
Preposterous Mood Swings
Punish My Spouse.
Pissy Mood Syndrome
Plainly; Men Suck
Pack My Stuff
Pretty Much the Same
Permanent Menstrual Syndrome
and...
Please My Self


Origins of PMS
1] Men have greater strength/speed and is generally bigger than women. Thus, to equalize this, Nature gave us PMS so we can release the beast in us and behave like shrews and scare some men into submission. It is to prove that women are better in the sense that we can bleed for five days without dying and have to endure this bleeding cycle every month for at least 40 years of our lives. Beat that, Man!

2]When God remove a rib from Adam to form Eve, he was asleep. Assuming he was lying on his side, the rib probably extended to the backbone and branched out like a "Y". The "Y" has two branches.
1] The two ovaries/fallopian tubes
2] Two sensitive points during intercourse[Hint, hint]

So, to amend his mistake at breaking off more than just Adam's rib, God tried to dissolve Eve in order to recreate woman. The destructive force sent was in the form of the natural disasters we have now. However, the two branches absorbed the force like the womb absorb nutrients. The two branches seperated the force and transferred parts of it around the female body. Till this day, the forces resided and resurfaced for a good part of Woman's life. Contrary to popular belief, we bleed because these forces awaken and stirred up a storm within.
The reason this wasn't in the Bible was because God, being God [Who HAVE to be prefect], buried these memories in the deepest recesses of Eve's mind.
Man! I Feel Like A Woman.